Monday, November 27, 2006

The Do's And Don'ts Of Being In A Bar or Club V0.2beta


You know that awkward feeling of being in a bar, standing on the wall of chumps surrounded by 3 World of Warcraft geeks who are out in public for the first time in their life?... Don't let that happen again. These few do's and don'ts of bars and clubs that have been field tested, mother approved, should help you out.

Saturday night, I am out at a bar drunk to pieces from the 6 beers that I had pounded before jumping in my friend Sarah's car (she was a sweetheart and volunteered herself to be the D.D., If we had more people like this in the world we wouldn't have wars... JK.). We arrive at the club and my friend buys me two more shots and a beer. Time for the fun to start... I look up and what do I see? A sight that I have not seen since my days of living in West Hollywood and going to Club Highlands. The imfamous "WALL OF CHUMPS". Those few lost souls that are wondering why am I in this bar/club standing with my 2 Star Wars buddies. I was once one of these guys and catch myself in that awkward situation every now and then (minus being a dork.. shuttup Star Wars is cool!). Here are my do's and don'ts to keep myself and hopefully YOU out of that situation.

DO'S
Do whatever it takes to have the most kick ass time... meaning go there with positive energy, drink if you have to (just make sure you got money for a Taxi or a poor old soul you can call your D.D.). Whatever you do just make sure you will have a fun time

Do go with fun people, you are who you hang out with and if you bring loser or debbie downer friends, you will be a loser debbie downer.

Do go with a good ratio of guys/girls. You don't have to roll in there looking like Snoop Dogg with your pimp cane but you don't have to bring the whole farm of cock's in your backyard with ya! Show them females that you aren't walking girl repellant by being with other girls.

Do Socialize!.. So important! Why go to a social watering/drinking hole if you're going to play the creepy uni-bomber role. Put your talking lips on and get ready to talk to anybody who can increase the amount of fun that you are having.

DO NOT'S
Do Not get too drunk that you get you and all of your friends kicked out of the place while managing to be the human barf fountain for the night. Keep it cool, know your limits and on top of all BE SAFE!

Do Not be the creepy guy who looks like a child rapist. Put on a nice friendly smile to the occasional person guy or girl (remember you're just being your nice and friendly self).

Do Not be afraid to talk to others. People who go to bars don't go because they're anti-social and they have nothing better to do. They go because they are fun outgoing people who like to go into society and socialize with others. Take this chance to build on your social network. Talk to anybody just because that is the social person you are. If you were at your 5 year old little sister's birthday party would you be the creepy weirdo? No you'd be the fun guy carrying the party on.

Do Not whip your penis out and wave it around like you just found out that you have one. Sorry, this one had to be said. (this goes out to you Mr. Ryan Wood... (thats a whole other story)

Those couple of tips should help ya out. Just be careful with the being social one, if you have a girlfriend like I do. If your girlfriend ends up chasing you down the street because you were talking to two random girls.. for now.. just run. Maybe one day I will post "How to talk to random girls without having your girlfriend beat the crap out of you".

til then, live life have fun


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1 Comments:

Blogger D A V E said...

Haha, yea, "whipping the penis out and waving it around" is bad. But it was *ucking funny tho...

November 27, 2006 at 10:28:00 PM PST  

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